Convenient Customer ID -- Gee, thanks...

There's a website I go to where for years I've had to log in using my social security number as a user ID, plus a password. Obviously, this is a legitimate site that I trust. However, it's always made me nervous using my social security number.

So when I logged in recently and noticed an alert telling me I could log in using my customer ID instead of my social security number, I felt relieved.

But then I saw my customer ID -- a sixteen digit number.

Really, can anyone remember something like 1185603382904776?

(not my user ID -- just typed in random numbers)

So instead of your SSN, you get this 16 digit string of numbers that you pretty much have to write down and post by your computer, or tattoo on your forearm.

Perfect.

Tenderloin Thief

Hey, buddy, is that beef tenderloin in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

Oh, my mistake, eight packages of beef tenderloin.

Parade of Awful Gifts

If you're on my Christmas list, you should be afraid -- very afraid -- because this festive holiday season, someone is getting individually-wrapped prunes from yours truly.

A couple of years ago, I blogged about the challenge of gift-buying for the elderly. Since then, it's become even more of a challenge because, um, they're even more elderly and we've been through several cycles of the old standbys.

After some conversations with one relative's caregiver, I opted this year to do a fruit and nut gift bag. And that led me to prunes-to-go. Hey, think how handy this is going to be for long waits in the doctor's office! Just pack a couple of prunes -- all nicely wrapped in cellophane -- and you're set.

If you think the individually-wrapped prunes are bad, then consider this: I recently got my boyfriend a trash can for his birthday. Never mind it was a pricey stainless steel model from Bed Bath & Beyond that he had been wanting for sometime -- it still gets me the playful "you got me a trash can for my birthday" guilt trip.

So yeah, prunes, trash cans -- you should be scared when you open a gift from me this year.

NaNoWriMo: In Retrospect

Lessons Learned

* I wish I had thought out plot before I started writing.

* I realized that I am not cut out for getting up and writing the same story all day long. I get bored too easily. I need to have at least two things going on so I can switch back and forth.

* I imagined that meeting the goal would help boost my confidence. Indeed, I was very happy about meeting the deadline, but at the same time I'm disheartened by the amount of crap I produced.

* The quality of my writing is very mood dependent. Some days it's just a waste of time to force myself to write because the result is, well, craptastic.

What to do with this mess
My 50,000 word document is not a finished novel. I think it would take 20,000-30,000 more to finish it. Parts of it are definitely salvageable.

What I think might work best would be to split it into two books. There's just too much going on and too many characters. No kidding -- by the end of the month I had forgotten the names of some of the characters from the beginning. That's not a good sign.

NaNoWriMo: TGIF

Thank Goodness I'm Finished



More tomorrow after I finish celebrating (i.e., doing laundry, straightening up the house, and sleeping a looooooong time).

NaNoWriMo: I think I can, I think I can...

15,000 words to go, which means I have to write 3,000 words every day this week to "win." It's going to be tough. I imagine this will come down to a Friday night of frenzied typing.

After this is over, I swear I will start reading everyone else's blogs again and update my blogroll to include some new folks I've discovered.

P.S. The USB drive was in my home computer right where I left it, thank goodness!

NaNoWriMo: Behind, Lost USB drive

Gah!

Not only am I thousands and thousands of words behind on NaNoWriMo, but now I’m also without my USB drive containing all my work.

I was bright enough to make a back-up on my home computer, thank goodness, but it irritates me to not have my entire document with me as I travel and try to continue writing. And I'm hoping that the USB drive is still attached to my home computer and not left at some random rest stop between WV and NC.

I’m planning to devote large chunks of time to writing during the next 2 days -- if I can just keep myself from shopping online.

NaNoWriMo: My ten most annoyingly overused words & phrases

10. Genuinely
9. Even though
8. At least
7. Suddenly
6. Typical(ly)
5. Glare/Glaring
4. Occasionally
3. Unbelievable
2. Obvious(ly)
1. Of course

Of course, I've always struggled with "of course," but some of these are new for me, like "glare." That's because of one character who's very surly, so I feel compelled to repeatedly note that she's glaring.

But I'm not editing now. December is for editing.

Hello, Mothman; Goodbye NaNoWriMo Lead

The bad news
Friday all was well and I was right on track with NaNoWriMo. Well, I wrote nothing on Saturday, and next to nothing today and Friday, so now I'm officially behind.

The good news
I was on the road a lot this weekend, including a drive through Point Pleasant on Route 2, so I finally got to see the Mothman statue. It's not nearly as good as the photos I've seen by others, like Jerry, but at least I got to see it.

Speed Update: 14K, Ravenous Cat

NaNoWriMo
I'm in the neighborhood of 14,000 words. Why don't I know for sure? I've been writing in longhand -- in pencil -- and typing it when I get a chance. Yeah, I know. Not very efficient. Unfortunately, I developed this ritual in grad school and old habits are hard to break.

Feline News
The temporarily anorexic cat is now back to his old self and eating everything in sight, including any minuscule crumb he can find on the floor. Here's hoping this continues, especially while he's vacationing with a relative over Thanksgiving.

Cat Food Taste-Testing: WV Experiment Station

Oh what a fun week it’s been, but now that things are looking up, I can finally laugh about it a little.

Monday morning the elder cat showed no interest in his food. That is hugely out of character. Even when he’s been sick in the past, he’s managed to eat.

A vet visit and more than $80 worth of blood tests later, nothing abnormal could be found. Yet he still lacked interest in his food. I was told how important it was to keep him eating something each day.

Which led to this mess…

…because he seemed interested in new kinds of food and would at least try a few bites of each. And I tried various presentations – a flat plate, a small bowl, the usual food bowl, and – his favorite – directly on the living room rug.

The break-through came last night when I got him to eat about 8 Greenies and 60 tiny balls of Science Diet Light (big bag on left) – but only by doling out 5-6 pieces at a time on the rug.

This morning he ate almost 1/8 cup of the Science Diet in his regular food dish. How do I know 1/8 cup? Because I measured it before and after he ate!

And remember I have another cat, so one of the greatest challenges is keeping her from gobbling down all of his food. Good times.

Thank goodness it seems to be resolving itself.

NaNoWriMo

OK, I'm giving it a try.

I saw this writing program mentioned over on Don't Print This awhile back, but I didn't really give it much thought or check out what it was all about until the Brooklyn Hillbilly sent me an e-mail last night.

It was this line on their website that made me decide to sign up for the write a novel in a month challenge:

Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing.

The object, they stress, is quantity, not quality -- and because of the way I've been feeling lately, that's exactly the low-pressure strategy I need.

I also know that it would be helpful for me to feel like I accomplished something. Fifty-thousand words (about 175 pages) in 30 days is definitely a lofty goal, especially in a month with numerous holidays, travel days, and after hours work assignments, but if I could somehow pull it off, it might be a morale boost that would get me through the holidays ;).

Lion in them thar hills?

I've been following this story with great interest.

I know having a lion prowling around the hills of WV is not a good thing -- especially for the lion -- but there's part of me that would love to see a lion poking its maned head out of a thicket of rhododendron. Just once.

Cube Wisdom -- On Charitable Giving

When you spend most of your life planted in a cube farm, you get to overhear stunning snippets of wisdom, such as this:

Fashionable Person, speaking to another Fashionable Person: "I need to get some old clothes out of my closet, but I don't like donating things to the Salvation Army. Do you know what they do with all the clothes people donate to them?"

The answer, in a loud whisper, as if revealing outrageous secret: "THEY SELL THEM! They take what people GIVE to them and turn around and sell it in their store!"

OMG, I feel so used. How dare they take my worn out jeans and sell them for 50 cents to make money for their programs!

My Yellow Feast

The last couple of weeks have been stressful and hectic. So, as a treat to myself, I decided to take time to cook some Indian food -- instead of, oh, cleaning the house or doing laundry.

Here's what I made:

Turmeric Rice

Murgh Tari (chicken curry)

Alu Tari (potato curry)

If I had made these dishes before, perhaps I would have been wise enough to vary the menu to allow for another color of food.

Tonight, on day two of the leftover chicken and rice, to jazz things up a bit I added zucchini and tomatoes (the last ones from my garden) with fresh ginger, ground coriander, garam masala, and, of course, turmeric:

My zucchini/tomato concoction

I think my favorite of the new recipes was the potato curry. I added extra lemon juice to give it some more zip. While it was the most exotic-looking dish, the chicken was OK but not fantastic. The rice was adequate, but I'll probably never make it again. I think plain basmati rice would have been better with the various dishes, and the turmeric rice wasn't really special enough for the extra trouble.

Considering the amount of money that went into the ingredients and the time it took to prepare it, and the rather mediocre results, I would have been better off going to an Indian restaurant. Ah, but that's just it: the local restaurant is closed, and oh how I miss it!

Oh yeah, isn't it kind of weird to be getting zucchini from the garden in October? In August, the middle part of my zucchini plant shriveled up. I nearly pulled the whole thing out of the ground, but the four little branches out from the middle section looked OK, so I left them. They've been bearing zucchini ever since. It's not the most prolific zucchini plant in the world, but it's definitely long-lived.

So you're the woman from my nightmare

OK, so I have rarely had to deal with the woman from last week’s nightmare – until this week. And the first encounter wasn’t entirely pleasant.

Which makes me wonder if my nightmare was foreshadowing my imminent demise…

Which causes me to get anxious whenever she enters the room…

Which surely makes me seem like a real nut…

Darn my subconscious.

And some days you just wake up feeling small

Last night I was berated by one of my supervisors all night long.

Well, at least in my nightmare I was.

My unconscious mind cooked up a vivid dream starring one of the higher-ups at work. In real life, I don't have much contact with her, but in my dream, she hauled me into her office for what seemed like hours of belittlement.

There was the issue of my clothing -- she didn't like them. "Do us all a favor and don't wear those pants again."

And my desk -- I wasn't properly "marketing myself" using my office. "You should use your office to sell yourself, not to put up pictures of dogs and cats. I walk into your office and all I see is dogs and cats." For the record, I have only a dog calendar -- no actual photos of pets.

And on and on like that.

Finally, clearly angry, I stood up (in dreamland) and said, "So, what you're telling me is that the quality of work I do doesn't really matter -- it's all this other stuff -- my clothes, my hair, my desk?"

She looked at me and said, "Well, yes."

I woke up feeling drained, depressed, and more sure of what I already suspected.

Pardon my lack of pity

Because I'm apparently an unreasonable bitch, please don't tell me your sob stories about being poverty-stricken if any of the following apply:

• You have taken 2 or more vacations in the last 12 months
• You have a cleaning lady
• You drive a newish SUV
• You have occasion to buy new formal gowns and cocktail dresses
• They call you by name at the local Starbucks
  

Texting goes bad in WV drug deal

I don't know what Miss Manners would say about the etiquette of buying & dealing illegal substances with the aid of technology, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's probably wise to let your friends know you've changed cell phone numbers...

...especially if your friends are in the habit of texting you about buying reefer

...and, oh yeah, your old number could be assigned to a State Trooper!

Self-defeating Thoughts du Jour

You're crappy at your job.

You have no marketable skills.

You have accomplished nothing with your life.

Your cats don't even like you.

I realize that's probably over-stating it a bit. Sometimes the younger cat does show a hint of affection for me.

Yield

The garden is about gone, and it's just as well because my freezer is packed with yellow squash, zucchini, spaghetti sauce, salsa, and green beans (green beans not from my garden).

Best producers:

* 2 West Virginia '63 tomato plants = 60 tomatoes (still have several on the vine)

* 1 zucchini plant = 23 zucchini

Worst:

* 1 Ichiban eggplant = maybe 5 small eggplant...This was really disappointing. The last time I got an Ichiban eggplant, I grew it in a pot and had more eggplant than I knew what to do with. This year it did almost nothing.

* 1 Yellow Squash -- I didn't count the produce, but it was a disappointment. It did, however, live much longer than other yellow squash plants I saw in other gardens.

* Onions -- Over the winter, my brain erased all memory of a key part of gardening: working up the soil. After I planted the onions, trying to figure out why they didn't look quite right wedged in between big clumps of hard dirt, I remembered, "Oh, yeah...you're supposed to get the soil loose and crumbly. Um...oops." The onions suffered the worst from this dumb error, which was even more devastating because of the extensive dry spell in June and July. I now have a small collection of onions the size of ping pong balls.

9/11/01

What I remember most:

• Confusion
• The overpowering urge to get home, no matter what (I was in PA for the day)
• Pittsburgh TV reporters talking about missing planes, evacuated buildings, and, finally, a map showing the crash site in Shanksville, which at the time seemed very close
  
• Agonizing over what to do -- stay put or head south? Were the roads even open?
• Driving: normally busy highways were eerily vacant...police were stationed at the entrances to municipal airfields for reasons I didn't yet fully understand
• The weather: a glorious blend of low humidity, moderate temperature, and bright sun...just a hint of fall crispness...the kind of weather that makes colors appear brighter...to this day, this specific kind of weather makes me think of 9/11
  
• Collapsing in front of the TV, unable to stop flipping back and forth between 24-hour news channels, desperate for any new shred of info
• Feeling the need to call people on the phone, but not knowing what to say
  

Entertainment Marathon

I'd been pretty stressed in the days leading up to Labor Day weekend, so I took my mind off things by going on a sort of entertainment marathon:

a couple of hours of paddleboating



three hours of bluegrass music during a taping of Song of the Mountains

Awesome. I hope to return for the Oct. 6 show.

two games of bowling at what can only be described
as an extremely vintage alley (but in a cool kind of way)

mountain biking six miles in one hour

Famous last words: "It's called the Lake Trail, so it just goes around the shore of the lake, right?" Answer, six miles later: Yes, but this is Appalachia, so the shore is a series of steep climbs and mildly frightening descents.

one hour of flat water kayaking

My first time in a kayak. Loved it!

PLUS:

• Swimming in the motel pool
  
• Pinball
• One game of miniature golf at an evil course
• Lots and lots of eating, of course

My vacant uterus is really not your concern

Awhile back, a member of the group I spend a lot of time with announced that he and his wife were expecting. We were all very excited, and after congratulating him and asking a few questions (due date, etc.), someone turned the conversation to "Gee, I wonder who will be next to have a baby."

Looking at me.

WTF? I live alone with 2 cats and obsess over feeding wild birds, a piddly little garden, laminate floors, and the like. That doesn't strike me as the recipe for imminent impregnation.

It wasn't the first time they'd expressed concern over my biological clock ticking down to nothing, and I'm always taken aback. (I should note that these are not close friends) Despite my tomboyish nature, I really am well aware of how these things work, and I'm extremely aware of my age. So, really, I don't need mere acquaintances delving into my reproductive future, or lack thereof.

Does every childless person get this sort of questioning from random people?

Froggy Strikes a Pose

Until Sunday, I'd never actually seen a frog sitting on a lily pad, but what do you know -- the water garden frog found a comfy spot on one of the lily leaves, with another lily leaf overhead to shade him from the sun.


I'm already worrying about what he's going to do for winter. I hope he has the instinct NOT to bury himself in one of the flower pots that we plan to overwinter in a cool closet indoors.

Please don’t sing to me in the nursing home

Whenever I drive Route 50, my thoughts inevitably turn to death, terminal illness, nursing home life, and other unpleasant things. Maybe it’s because of all the roadside memorials.

On my last journey, I slipped in a CD of Neko Case and Gillian Welch songs, which made me think of my fit of downloading awhile back when I got 50 free songs for signing up for DSL. I love free things, so I wasn’t about to let those songs go to waste, but after depleting the site’s stock of Neko Case and Gillian Welch, I was stuck.

Finally I resorted to downloading some tunes from my high school and early college days – the songs that currently reside on cracked cassette tapes in my basement avalanche-o-crap. A little Bananarama, Irene Cara, Starship, The Cranberries, Creedance Clearwater Revival, songs from the “Good Morning Vietnam” soundtrack, etc.

It took me several weeks to recover from that brilliant move. Forgetting is the key to my survival. Just ask the Brooklyn Hillbilly, who is always saying, “Remember when…”, and I’m always answering, genuinely surprised, “No, I don’t...”

For me, nothing jars loose memories like music. Listening to those songs I remembered stuff that hadn’t been unearthed in years.

After recalling that mood fiasco, I thought of the typical nursing home/retirement community footage they show on TV – you know, the kind that shows residents gathered around to hear some young whippersnapper play the piano or sing oldies tunes. OMG, how devastating that would be. Shuffle your wheelchair in, S, and sit here while we conjure up memories of all your dead friends and loved ones, and all the things you used to do but can’t do now that your life consists of propelling a wheelchair up and down a long hall with your slippered feet.

Oh yeah, the music has since been unintentionally deleted from my hard drive, along with my original Neko Case & Gillian Welch files (grrr). Oh well, it was for the best, I suppose.

Sneaky Water Lily

Yeah, I know, enough already on the stupid water garden. Hang in there -- frost is nearing.

As you can see, I finally captured the lily. I took this at about 10:30 a.m., and by 3 p.m. it was closed up for the night. A flower with bankers' hours! Plus, it only bloomed 3 days total.

Next up is the leopard frog who is residing at least part time in the barrel garden. If I can get a picture of the frog, I swear, I'll stop (for this season).

Duct tape is good for a lot of things...

like repairing an inner tube, covering holes in upholstery, and holding your car together so it passes inspection.

What it's not so great for is covering the face to obscure one's identity during a robbery.

If done properly, the removal of the duct tape might have been adequate punishment for the crime.

Just the Look I Was Going For

As I've said before, going to get my haircut often leads to uncomfortable conversations about my hair.

Here's how it went today:

Stylist: So, how much do you want off?
Me: About an inch.
Stylist: And this is how you normally wear it -- kind of messed up on top?

Sigh.

(By the way, I had just dashed through a downpour about an hour earlier, so no, it's not how I normally wear it.)

Whaaaaaat????

OK, there's something seriously flawed with this survey.

You Belong in 1984

Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

What Year Do You Belong In?

Um, wild and over the top? Colorful at night? Maybe if I color my Scrabble tiles!

(Seen on Michelle's blog...)

Barrel Garden Update

It's only been since Father's Day that this thing has been going, and already, as you can see, the surface is just about covered.

This is the least attractive angle, but it shows less of the property. The water lily has bloomed once, and it has another bud emerging from the water. The first bloom only lasted a couple of days and was only out in the daytime. I missed it completely. I'm hoping I'll time it right to see bloom #2.

The parrot feather, in the upper right of this picture, has grown like crazy, even more so than the water lily. And the pickerel weed (with the blue/purple blooms) has flowered ever since the garden was created.

I'm happy with how the plants are doing, but the most exciting thing was when I walked by after sunset one evening and saw a rather plump leopard frog sitting on the edge of the barrel.

Giving Door-to-door Salespeople the Evil Eye

I've discovered that I possess a unique weapon in the fight against door-to-door salespeople, and perhaps even door-to-door proselytizers.

Here's what happened:

Shortly after I saw a large van with Florida plates cruising the neighborhood, there was a knock at the door. Surprise, surprise -- it was a young person selling magazines. (it sounded a lot like one of these schemes)

She immediately launched into her almost robotic spiel about the exciting opportunity she had for me. But something tripped her up about a minute into it.

"...and I'm not here to ask for contributions, I'm not here to ask you -- OH MY GOSH IS ONE OF YOUR EYES A DIFFERENT COLOR?!

"IT IS! OH MY GOSH! LET ME SEE...IT IS!"

Me: "Well, it's only half yellow..."

"THAT IS SO WEIRD! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!"

Me: "I don't know, it just..."

"I'M SO SORRY -- I DIDN'T MEAN TO -- THAT IS JUST SO WEIRD..."

And then she went back to the rehearsed speech.

People who've known me for years don't notice this, so I think that day the lighting was just right, and I was wearing yellow which definitely enhances the bi-colored eye. Perhaps if I start trying to emphasize the "weird" eye, I can really get rid of these unwanted guests -- or at least majorly creep them out while they're here.

Perks of Drought

Today I mowed my lawn for the first time since the first week of June. No kidding.

And parts of it could have gone much longer had it not been for my excellent collection of buckhorn plantain.

Just Add Water for Civil War!

"Drop Capsule In Warm Water And Watch Civil War Appear"

But good news: instant civil war is non-toxic!

(spotted in gift shop during recent trip to TN)

Squashtastic!

Last fall I created another small garden. Yes, the shape made it look like I had recently buried a body in the backyard. My neighbors must've thought I was nuts.

Anyway, the whole point of the new space was to make room for some squash plants. I'm happy to report it's so far a success. In May when I peeled back some of the straw to plant the veggies (one yellow squash and one zucchini), it was just perfect. No excessive digging required!

Despite the severe lack of rain, the squash seem to be doing OK, the zucchini more so than the yellow squash. Mmmmmmm.

Water lily on steroids

After just a week, the water lily in my Father's Day water garden has at least doubled in size. I knew the things spread quickly in the wild, but geesh -- it's only been a week!



Garden contains: (clockwise from back plant w/purplish flower) Pickerel weed, corkscrew rush, water lily, parrot feather, and bloody dock. The parrot feather is mostly below water and not really visible in the photo.

My design is completely unoriginal. I did fall in love with the deep red veins of the bloody dock, which wasn't mentioned in the project description, so I did add an extra plant. Knowing what I know now -- that the water lily is going to take over the world -- I see it was a mistake to go beyond four plants.

Embarrassing Conversation Habit

Since I seem to be one of the only never-married, childless mid-30-something women in the area, I'm always struggling to find some way to relate to my acquaintances when they discuss their families.

I've noticed a startling habit from which I absolutely MUST break myself.

Fictional example:

Acquaintance - "Now that little Bobby is mobile, he just won't stay out of the kitchen cabinets."

Me - "Oh yeah, when L was a kitten she went through a phase where she was breaking into the cabinets all the time. She was also a terror when it came to houseplants."

**panic**

OMG...what did I just say? I just equated my tabby to her toddler?!

I know how awful it is the second it leaves my mouth, but there's no taking it back. Even throwing in "not that kittens compare to toddlers, of course" along with some nervous laughter doesn't make it much better.

So, yeah, this is something I have to work on, or become even more reclusive to avoid such opportunities for embarrassment.

Happy Hardscrabble Birthday, WV!

In honor of the state's 144th, here's a bit of YouTubery.

I Wanna Go Back To West Virginia, Spike Jones, 1942
I heard a piece of this song this morning on Metronews and got interested in the song. It just happened to be offered on YouTube. I'm going to have to do a little more research because I just noticed that Spike Jones was born and died in California. I wonder what the history is behind this song -- is it his or did someone else do it first?

My Home Among the Hills, as performed by the WVWC Chorale
It's not a great recording for music quality, but it's the WVWC Chorale, and in my biased opinion, no one does "My Home Among the Hills" like WVWC musical groups. I still get chills whenever I hear this song.

The feud, then oral sex -- what a school trip!

Oh, those frisky hillbilly teens -- studying the Hatfields and McCoys by day and getting it on in the back of the bus by night!

I would guess this happens pretty frequently. I'd almost bet it did when I was in school, too, along with God only knows what else.

Driving American: "You know what FORD stands for, right?"

...says the car rental lady.

Well, yes, I believe I've heard that little joke before, but it's a product YOUR company offers. Are you telling me it's inferior?

That's like walking into an apparel store and the clerk saying, "Oh, you're not buying those pants are you? 'Cause they're really poor quality."

She was trying to convince us to take a foreign economy car. We had already planned on getting the Ford Focus because that's what we had reserved online, so when she asked us if the other car would be OK, we protested slightly. By that point in the process, we had become a little suspicious of everything she said. So we held our ground and requested the Focus.

OK, she said, and then dramatically pointed out the company's free roadside assistance number "just in case you need it."

So, that was how we got our very first rental car. We were very pleased to find an almost-new Focus awaiting us. For us, that was pretty special -- any nearly new car of any make is very cool.



I admit we put the car through some severe conditions -- dust, extreme heat, severe inclines, etc. And it held up just fine. The car handled well, was comfortable, and over all FELT very much like my four-year old foreign car. It had about the same amount of room in the interior and trunk and comparable features.

There was, however, one very big difference that quickly became apparent:

GAS MILEAGE

OK, my four-year old Japanese car gets about 37 mpg highway, sometimes even more than that. The 2007 model of my car gets 40 mpg highway.

The brand new Ford Focus? 27 mpg.

That difference adds up fast, especially with gas prices ranging between $3 and $4 per gallon.

So, Ford can build a car that feels and looks about like my Japanese car, has about the same amount of interior space, and similar features, but it can't make that car get comparable gas mileage. This wasn't, of course, the first time I'd realized this issue with American cars; it was just the first time I'd experienced it for myself as a driver. To be honest, it was depressing.

6/26/07 Update: According to various websites, the mileage for the Ford Focus ranges from 27 in the city to 37 on the highway for manual transmission (we were driving an automatic). Soooo, take the above as what it is: a random anecdote from a short-term Ford Focus driver.

Road Racers

There's not a lot to look forward to when you drive Route 50 between Parkersburg & Clarksburg, but in the summer time, it's kind of fun when you happen by cyclists or walkers doing a coast-to-coast trek.

On my last trip, I passed a couple of cyclists in Race Across America (Oceanside, CA, to Atlantic City, NJ).

I'm totally in awe of the bikers who do those races. Even in my best physical condition, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't last more than 5 very slow miles on that stretch of highway.

My next career: water lily propagator

This year for Father's Day I broke out of the rut of striped polo shirts and books and bought the supplies to make a whiskey barrel water garden.

It turned out OK, but I think it will probably require some additional work in the next couple of weeks. I did learn a few things during the process:

• Water plants must be gold-infused because they go for $10 a pop. And we're talking small pots. OK, some are $4.97 at Lowe's but darn it, I didn't go there till after I'd shelled out over $30 for 3 plants at the garden center up the street. So, I'm considering investing in some swampland and going into business for myself.
• Um, yeah, that light fluffy Miracle Gro potting soil doesn't work so well for pond plants. When you sink the plants it just floats right to the top. Arghhhh. I ended up putting lots of little stones around the top of each pot, but still quite a bit of potting soil escaped. I don't know if the stuff will actually absorb enough water to keep it down in the pot. If not, I'm going to have to re-pot all the plants.
• Which brings me to sinking the plants in the water -- who knew that would be such a challenge? My pots wanted to float, even though they were really water-logged when I tried to sink them. And it was also quite a challenge to find bricks, blocks, rocks, etc., to balance the pots on and put them at the proper depth in the water.
• A word of advice: If you plan to buy a whiskey barrel and transport it in your car, be sure to take an old bedspread or blanket or something so you can completely wrap it. By the time I got to the cashier, my arms and legs were covered with black. It would have destroyed my car if I'd had to put it in uncovered. Luckily, I'm a total dork and always carry an old bedspread in my trunk because I'm always dragging home random filthy stuff.
  

Oh yeah, about the floor...

Yikes, where has the time gone? I guess I've been in the floor time warp. After finishing the bedroom, I got the insane idea to do the living room, too. I mean, I had some tools borrowed, I could get the same color at Sam's, the house was already torn up -- so why not?

The second room was slightly larger, but it went much faster because I'd learned some tricks and also because after about row 3, I started getting really anxious about this brilliant idea to tear up another room of the house. So I channeled the nervous energy and got the living room done in a matter of a couple of evenings (dragging the huge furniture back in took a while longer).

The part I'm happiest about is that I managed to cover up the unsightly doorway between the living room and kitchen (lower right of picture). Before, it was sort of a hole with some old insulation or leveling compound or something -- I'm not really sure what. I'd had a rug over it for a year or so after I ripped out the living room carpet. It is strange to have two transitions, I know (the laminate strip transition and also the metal transition piece to the kitchen's vinyl), but this is the only way I could figure out how to do it.

Unfortunately, I've found that having the laminate flooring hasn't helped me get rid of my numerous throw rugs because I'm overly protective of the laminate and now have as many or more rugs than I used to. Also, the cats have trouble getting traction on the laminate, especially the older cat, so I have placed vinyl-backed rugs at strategic locations near windows.

If I had it to do over I would:

* Borrow or rent a table saw or miter saw. I cut all the pieces with a jigsaw, and it wasn't until I started the living room that I realized the blade had been dull throughout the cutting of all the bedroom pieces! Brilliant... But even with a sharp blade, it's impossible to keep the cuts completely straight. A table or miter saw would have made the edges a lot nicer. You don't really see this once the molding goes over it, however.

* Try to do it all in a weekend.

* Do the cutting outside. I now have sawdust all over everything in my basement. The only thing worse than a cluttered basement is a cluttered basement covered with a thin film of sawdust.

* Just go ahead and do the second bedroom, too, in addition to the master bedroom and living room. I'm not in the mood any more, so it'll be a while before I tackle the second bedroom.

Slowly, very slowly...

Originally the title for this post was going to be "Hello from Laminate Hell", but then things magically got easier, or I picked up on how these things are supposed to go together.

Now, while most people would just spend a whole Saturday or entire weekend on this sort of project, probably with someone else helping, I like to work alone and DRAG IT OUT FOREVER! Oh yes, it's much more fun that way!

I spent the evenings of last week painting the walls of the room and clearing out the junk, except for the dresser, which I simply don't have a place for.

Sunday night I started putting down the laminate pieces, and let me tell ya, it was a rough couple of days. I was in tears after the first row because I simply could not get rows 2 & 3 to go down. Every new piece I tried to put in would pop out all of the previous pieces in that row. I spent hours on just those two rows, and I had to wear my tennis shoes so I could get enough traction to push the pieces into place.

I also screwed up a couple of the cuts and got upset about that, but then I late re-used the pieces and that made me feel better about that goof.

Now that I'm about halfway done, things seem to be going more smoothly. I think I may be able to finish this part, or at least get very close, by tomorrow night. Then comes what I'm really scared of -- doing the doorways!

Here we go...

I've been wanting to do something -- anything -- to cover up the mess that is my bedroom floor. Of course, the whole reason it became such a mess was because I tried to pull a Trading Spaces and paint the floor...white. Ugh. It turned yellow within no time at all (this was, I think, the clear coat that I put over the paint). It was like yellowed newspaper on a grand scale.

I rented a floor sander to take off the paint. I learned 2 things: a) floor sanders are insanely heavy and b) it's nearly impossible to get all the paint off an imperfect surface using a sander. What I was left with -- although you can't really see it in the picture -- was an awful floor with with paint embedded in the cracks and crevices.

So, here I am with stacks of laminate flooring in my bedroom, and I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that I can really install it. I'm doing all the pre-installation work now, plus I got the late idea to paint the room, too, which has set me back even further. I hope to get this all done in a couple of weeks.

We'll see...

So, which is it -- news or a promo for your website?

I was in the land of no internet this weekend. Oh, there is internet access in the land, but not in this particular house. So, I had no connection.

I did, however, have access to 24/7 news, and among the breaking news was the "expanding pet food recall."

Yet it seemed like on Saturday no one would say or put on the screen PRECISELY what was being recalled, nor would they add a PHONE NUMBER for the companies.

Instead, it was, "Check our Web site for the brands!" I get it. This story generates a ton of interest from people like me who consider pets to be part of the family. Right. But how about just putting a little text on the screen with the list of products?!! And then if viewers have any in the house, they can cease using it or call the customer care number that's usually on the back of the package.

It was maddening to keep watching news shows and not get the KEY PIECE of the news story. I thought for sure the 6:30 p.m. NBC newscast would give a list of the products, but no. Didn't see one. "But check our Web site for all the latest information!!!"

It wasn't until the next afternoon that I finally saw a list on one of the cable news channels. Thankfully, it didn't include any of the brands I fed the animals the previous night.

Ghastly...

American Idol's been on what -- 5 years? This is the 6th season and just this year I watched it for the first time.

Yes, that's how hip I am.

In the beginning, during the dreadful auditions, I was appalled by the judges, especially the whole bush baby thing in Seattle, yet I kept watching, like a car accident, unable to look away. When the show went off each evening, I'd get on the phone and rant about how the show was indicative of everything that's wrong with society and youths today.

"How can they be sooooo mean? It almost makes me cry to watch these people's dreams get dashed." yadda yadda

All the while, I'd be connecting to the Internet to see when the next show was on.

Fast forward a month and I'm now openly eager for Simon's next nasty utterance or Randy's classic "Dog, it just wasn't that good" after especially wretched performances.

"'The good news is it wasn't as ghastly as last week'. OMG, did you hear that?!"

I'm hopelessly hooked.

BTW, I think "ghastly" is really underused in day-to-day conversation. My new goal, because I have to play these silly games with myself, is to somehow weave that word into something official at work.

Trying to reminisce about the 1990 teacher strike

I don't remember much from that time period, which is a shame because I must have been terribly giddy to be out of school.

I watched the video and looked at the pictures at WSAZ, but it didn't unearth any lost memories. I just know that what went on in our county couldn't have been nearly as exciting as some of the picket lines they showed in those videos.

What I do recall of the strike is spending at least one glorious day at the local park enjoying the spring weather with some of the older kids. But even then there was gnawing at me a bit of boredom because, no matter how much I hated going to school, I had to admit that really there wasn't much else to do.

Sometimes the Weatherman is Right

Like today.

I didn't really believe it last night when I heard the forecast for a big snowstorm, hitting right during the morning commute and continuing throughout the day today. I've lived here long enough to know that there are often huge snows predicted that never materialize.

But darn if it didn't materialize today!

Today would've been the ideal day to work from home (and graze all day, as I did last time I worked from home), but no, I didn't have enough sense to do that. I instead got up and saw the little dusting of snow on the ground, figured the storm wasn't coming, and headed out as usual.

Ha - boy was I wrong! We now have about between 6 and 8 inches of heart-attack-inducing, back-breaking heavy snow.

What fun.

Belated Farewell to a Hardscrabble Sister

I completely forgot to note that my favorite word -- hardscrabble -- appeared in the recent and ongoing Anna Nicole saga.

Not only was her upbringing in Texas reportedly "hardscrabble" (paragraph 2 -- just an example of the many references to her hardscrabble childhood), but she also died in the "hardscrabble part" (paragraph 1) of Hollywood, FL.

Hardscrabble from beginning to end...

Joe in '08??

Ok, this article kinda surprised me. Not that he'd run for national office of some sort eventually, but that it's being discussed now.

Yeah, yeah, I know I live under a rock and am completely out of it -- I suppose the Brooklyn Hillbilly, a true politics junkie, has seen a Hillary-Joe ticket coming for years.

Remembering the Buffalo Creek Disaster

Today marks the 35th anniversary of the horrible Buffalo Creek flood in Logan County that killed 125 and left thousands homeless.

I've always heard brief mentions about this incident, but today I finally took a moment and looked at the online exhibit at the WV Division of Culture & History's website and now have a better of understanding of what took place.

The second image on this page helped me envision the dams involved and the area devastated by the flood. Also note the first paragraph of that page. There are at least 9 Buffalo Creeks in WV, and two of those are associated with major disasters -- the mine explosion at Farmington that killed 78 and the aforementioned Feb. 26, 1972, dam break and flood in Logan County. I'd definitely never made that connection.

The Flu -- Real or Imagined

In the last year I've read two books about the influenza pandemic of 1918.

The first, John M. Barry's The Great Influenza, I read last spring. Let me tell you, if you make it through that one without starting a stockpile of bottled water and canned goods in your basement, well, you're more confident than I am.

The second was Wickett's Remedy, a novel by Myla Goldberg.

After reading those books, I was, of course, eager to get my annual flu shot. Reading the Barry book will tempt you to push the elderly and small children out of line to be first to get your flu shot. I refrained from doing that, however.

Well, guess what? I got the flu anyway. If it wasn't the flu, it was sure something that acted exactly like it. The person who gave it to me claims it was influenza B.

Whatever it was, I haven't had anything like it in years, and as I lay drooling, struggling to breathe, all I could think about was the The Great Influenza and the graphic descriptions of that flu's effect on its victims. The Black Death, it was called, and that's what kept running through my not-so-coherent mind during the worst hours of the illness. Surely I had come down with the very first case of the next pandemic. It was a long night filled with these thoughts, as well as many other bizarre ones, including the sudden urge to re-caulk my bathtub even though I couldn't get out of bed. I could NOT stop thinking of the current unsightly caulk.

But in about 36 hours I was suddenly feeling that I might recover, and I reported in all seriousness, "I think I'm going to make it," which sounded pretty amusing, I'm sure, to the other party who had NOT read the flu books.

Rethinking My Career Goal

My career goal for a while now has been pretty much any job that would allow me to work from home most of the time. I don't know what that would be -- medical transcription, selling antique--RETRO!!*NIP* Pez dispensers on eBay, or something of that nature.

Well, today I got to try it out. The commute yesterday was frightening. My car did pretty well, but there were other cars that weren't, and dodging them was scary and I was almost in an accident. So this morning when the rain turned to sleet turned to snow before I could get on the road, I opted for the daring (for me) "work from home" day.

In the beginning it was swell. E-mail, e-mail, e-mail, work, work, work.

But by noon, I'd eaten breakfast three times and was preparing lunch. Clearly, if I'm ever to work from home full-time, I'll need to put a timed lock on the kitchen.

By 3 p.m., I was stir crazy. I meticulously shoveled the sidewalk again, and then called to check my voice mail for the zillionth time. I rarely get phone calls at work, so for the heck of it I listened to my 8 saved messages.

And then I started planning dinner.

Well, At Least I'm Consistent

Grrrr -- I spent a long time at Hallmark this year picking out cards. And while I did pick up some other Valentines, most of the time spent was picking out the perfect card for the boyfriend.

I couldn't find the perfect card, but I finally settled on one that I liked.

Well, turns out it was THE SAME ONE I sent him last year. He was kind enough not to tell me if I wrote exactly the same thing, too.

I did manage to buy a different gift, thank goodness.

Resolutions

Well, obviously, not all of my New Year's resolutions are going well (blogging), but the other two are doing OK, though it's a struggle. I've read a couple of books, and I've been to the gym an average of a couple of times a week. Considering I was sick for a week, I guess that's OK.

I did haul my sorry arse out of bed this morning and forced myself to go work out. Decked out in my abominable snowman sweat pants (they add at least 30 pounds to my thighs), eyes puffier than usual, no make-up, hair flat and sticking to my head -- it was almost certain I would run into someone I knew. And, of course, it had to be the fashion-conscious grand-boss. Perfect.

New Recipe Prompts Purchase of Carbon Monoxide Detector

I decided to try a new recipe Sunday -- chicken with yogurt sauce -- from an Indian cookbook I got recently. It turned out quite nice, actually, and I had a lovely feast of that and some basmati rice.

As I was cleaning up the kitchen, I kept smelling an ever-so-faint hint of natural gas when I passed the (electric) stove.

Hmmm. The stove is approximately right over the gas water heater in the basement. Was it leaking and coming up from the basement? There was no odor at all in the basement. Still, it was enough to make me worry.

A bit of background: Last year I had two minor gas leaks in my basement, so I'm probably more sensitive than the average person to suspicious odors.

Just to be on the safe side, I immediately went out in the cold and bought a carbon monoxide detector. I plugged it in, and nothing. No siren.

Well, it was a relief. I went to sleep without worries, and I didn't think of the possible gas leak until a couple of days later when I got the leftovers out of the fridge.

Magically, the odor of natural gas returned.

Perhaps it was the garam masala, or the ground coriander, or the combination of everything thrown in together -- who knows -- but sure enough, it was my chicken with yogurt sauce leftovers.

Yes, I bought a carbon monoxide detector because of my own cooking!

But you know, after the horrible incident this week in Ghent, I don't mind overreacting over the possible presence of a flammable gas. How awful. It's accidents like that that make me want to hide from the world.

Everything But Hail

I had a grand tour of precipitation today, and was it ever an adventure. I'm thankful to have made it back to my little shack in one piece.

A drive from the homeland to the current place of residence usually takes about 2 hours. Today it took about 4. Now, I am a very cautious driver in the snow, so you probably could have made it in about 3 1/2 or so.

I could have delayed my drive till tomorrow morning, and I contemplated that briefly, but the weather forecast didn't sound promising -- more snow, freezing rain, etc.

Route 50 was by far the worst. It always is. The most awful part is when you're driving along at a comfortable pace in the one sort-of plowed lane and you reach the top of a hill, cross a county line, and suddenly you're on something resembling a Lake Placid bobsled track -- nary a bare spot to be seen, just packed snow and ice. Gosh, that's fun!

Joe, then George

West Virginians have an interesting TV line-up tonight. First, the State of the State address at 7, and then the president speaks at 9.

Not exactly must-see TV, but I usually watch this kind of thing out of a weird sense of duty.

Tonight, however, Joe and George may be ignored in my house. You see, I have more pressing issues: I must replace the flapper in the toilet. I also missed "House" last night because of this ongoing toilet issue. In fact, I think I made the toilet issue WORSE while trying to fix it.

Oh well. That's how my do-it-yourself projects usually work. Two steps backward, one forward, three back, and then give up and call the professional to fix the accumulated problems.