Happy hillbilly Thanksgiving
Blogging will cease until next week. Yeah, yeah, I know it's been intermittent of late, at best. Anyway, I shall travel to the homeland for the rest of the week.

Remember, if you're traveling through the Mountain State this week, the polite thing to ask the natives is, "Did jya get a deer?"

Another invite for the hardscrabble reunion
The Brooklyn Hillbilly notified me that today's New York Daily News states that Ron Artest grew up in a "hardscrabble housing project." The BH observes, "It seems like 'hardscrabble' if more likely to be slapped on
a place where someone 'grows up' - more often than 'where people live'."

A few random notes

Hillbilly turkeys pardoned by president
These two guys are undoubtedly the luckiest turkeys in Hardy County.

Jon Stewart uses the "h" word
The Brooklyn Hillbilly phoned me at midday to inform me that last night Jon Stewart uttered the word "hardscrabble" during his show last night. The BH was unable to recall exactly the context in which it was used.

*NOTE: Dave informed me that Stewart's utterance of hardscrabble was in reference to the Pres. Bush's description of Condoleezza Rice's upbringing.

The 'Hardscrabble' Craze That's Sweeping the Nation
Jim writes that this blog "unduly influenced" the use of "hardscrabble" in this story. Color me flattered! Perhaps it shall be my life's work to spread the word hardscrabble throughout the world.

For you fans of “hardscrabble,” the word dates back to at least 1804 in the Lewis & Clark Journals (“Got on our way at hard Scrable Perarie.”), according to the Oxford English Dictionary. It also appears in Moby Dick (1851).

The OED, which writes it “hard scrabble,” offers two possible meanings: “A place thought of as the acme of barrenness where a livelihood may be obtained only with great difficulty. Also attrib. Often as a proper name.” and “A vigorous effort made under great stress.”

Acme of barrenness! That’s my new favorite phrase.

“Gee, Brooklyn Hillbilly, your apartment is the acme of barrenness.”
“I’ve planted some daffodils here in front of the house, but the backyard is still the acme of barrenness.”

I encourage you to use hardscrabble as much as possible, and if that starts sounding dull - move on to acme of barrenness.

"There are scams, and then there are WV scams!" (as Jerry said when he e-mailed this to me)
Soooo, a man pretended he was retarded (OMG, the story says "retarded" - is that word even allowed any more??) so he (allegedly) could grope the home health nurses hired to care for him. Good grief.

UPDATE: Nov. 11, 8:38 p.m. - Gag - more on Diaper Guy.

WV school for sale on Ebay
As of 3 p.m. today, the current bid for the Bluefield school was $30,100. You have 16 more days to place your bid.

Spooky's new favorite sleeping spot



Of course, I could remedy the situation by simply taking the clothes out of the suitcase and putting it back in the basement, but oh no, that would be too easy.

School board upholds ban on Juicy skirts
No more hillbilly teens dressed in "Juicy" skirts at one state school, thanks to a decision by the school board (yes, this story has been broadcast nationwide via AP). I think this ban should be extended to ALL clothing with words across the arse, if for no other reason than because it's not at all slimming.

Irritated Hillbilly Lawn Blogging
As you know, I regularly mow my lawn. It’s genetic; I come from a long line of conscientious lawn tenders.

For the last several months, the neighborhood has had some, shall we say, “issues” with my next-door neighbor. The last time this individual mowed the grass was in August, and it was at that time s/he mowed some random stripes and letters or shapes into the back yard. Since then it’s been growing – and growing, and growing.

On Tuesday, I was doing some work outside my house and one of the neighbors stopped by to discuss the unsightly property next door, which has now been vacant for at least a couple of weeks. The neighbor told me s/he was going to contact the city and see what could be done about it. We talked for a while about the gradual decline of the property and agreed that we hoped the owner would clean it up soon.

So, imagine my surprise yesterday when I got home and found a notice that I had a certified letter from the city waiting for me at the post office. I almost knew what it was going to be, and that caused me to stew all night.

I got up early and arrived at the post office shortly after 9 a.m., which was the earliest I could pick up the letter.

You guessed it. The letter informed me that I had high grass and weeds growing in my yard and was, therefore, in violation of city code. I had 10 days (from yesterday) to correct the matter, the letter said.

I was so irate that I drove home and immediately typed a letter of appeal, explaining that the property they were looking for was the house next door. I gave the house number and told the story about the lawn not being mowed since August and the trash sitting out at the curb rotting for the past six weeks or so (and now bits and pieces are blowing into my yard). Since I wanted to get the matter resolved as quickly as possible, I hopped in the car and returned to the post office and paid over $4 to send the letter certified mail right back to the city. My fear was they would drive by in 10 days and see the grass still high and ugly and fine me. I couldn’t imagine that the grass would be cut, as I’d not seen a soul over there in weeks. After all, it’d been growing, untouched, since August.

I arrived home from work tonight at about 5 p.m. and heard the sound of a lawn mower. Yep, the out-of-town property owners had arrived and were mowing the jungle of a back yard, meaning that it is now slightly shorter than MY yard. GAH!

So now what? The letter is on the way to the code enforcement guy, who will probably drive by and see a perfectly mowed yard next door and either think a) I’m insane or b) I deserve a citation for having my yard slightly shorter than the other yard. To avoid the latter, I’m going to mow the bloody back yard again tomorrow, which means the code dude will just think I’m crazy. Either way, I’m out over $4 and have to mow my back yard AGAIN, not to mention the worry (I am an expert worrier).

Of course, the other option is that the code enforcement officer has mistaken my two medium-sized clumps of ornamental grass for weeds.

Gah – either way, it is just my luck that after three months, the property owners show up on the very day I send a letter to the city.

New Martinsville eateries make New York Times
OK, I confess - I heard about this one on TV tonight. This NY Times writer, who spends part of her time in the New Martinsville area, writes a comparison of two of the area's eateries - the local Bob Evans and a local restaurant - and offers observations about the customers who frequent each establishment.

As someone who's been to Bob Evans far more than I care to remember, I know the Bob Evans mind-set. But there are times when it's a good thing, like when I'm traveling and I'm in the mood for a biscuit in the middle of the afternoon - then I know right where to pull off the interstate. And I know the biscuit I get who-knows-where along I-81 is going to taste just like the ones I've had along I-77 in Parkersburg. Yes, I admit, there's something comforting about that. Hello, my name is S, and I eat at Bob Evans. I need a 12-step program.

The day after
Besides the complete lack of drama in the governor's race, there were some huge surprises in yesterday's election -- surprises to me, anyway.

First, Mezzatesta was voted out of the House of Delegates by the good people of Hampshire County.

Second, for the first time in my admittedly short memory, a McGraw lost an election. The other McGraw won a tight race for Attorney General. I refuse to admit how old I was before I realized there were TWO McGraws involved in WV politics.

Ken Hechler also lost in yet another bid to be Secretary of State -- has that happened before? Had I been tempted to vote for him, I would have changed my mind quickly when he unveiled a hideous campaign ad consisting of a slow, purely awful "Ken again" song. LOL, I love this quote from Ireland: "If I do the job, you're not going to see me gallivanting around the state handing out pens and pins and proclamations." In other words, she intends to break from longtime Secretary of State tradition, and I think that's just grand.

Election results
Starting very soon, info will begin being posted on Metronews' site, including the results of their exit polling conducted earlier today. You can also tune in to the Metronews broadcast through the Web site.

*UPDATE* - 7:40 p.m. and Metronews is projecting Joe has won the gubernatorial race. He hasn't even made it to the celebration location yet. (LOL) Also, CNN, FoxNews and others are projecting, based on exit polls, that Bush has won WV's five electoral votes (of course, whether he gets Richie Robb's vote will remain to be seen).

Disenfranchisement Election Day - Nov. 2, 2004
Oh, can't you just smell the "disenfranchisement" in the air? All of those votes being "suppressed"?

Whatever.

According to Gov. Wise, during his appearance on Neil Cavuto's show this afternoon, 12 percent of West Virginians voted during the early voting period. Wise also told Cavuto that it was a dead heat in the presidential race in WV. When Cavuto pointed out that WV's unemployment had fallen about one percent since the last presidential election, Wise countered by saying yes, but those aren't the same jobs and WV, like many other states, has lost better-paying manufacturing jobs.

A few WV election day headlines:

*A Daily Mail columnist makes some election predictions.

*Voting reportedly "heavy"; voters in Williamstown had to vote by flashlight for the first few hours due to a power outage.

*Speaking of Williamstown...During a visit to the Wood County town yesterday, Sen. Jay told the crowd that he trusted John Kerry and called him an "honest" and "brilliant" person. He, RCB & our old friend Gaston were out doing election eve politicking around the state.

*In an informal poll conducted by Parkersburg area barbers, the margin of the presidential race is "razor thin".

Dead pollsters needed to survey dead voters
Don't pay any attention to the crazy political polls. Not only do they not take into account the cell-phone-only generation, but they also completely leave out one important segment of voters - the dead. I received an automated election polling call last night just before 9 p.m. It quizzed me on topics ranging from the war in Iraq to the NRA.

BTW, WV blogger Dave has posted his "interview" ;) with the Bush & Cheney. Perhaps this will start a trend and Michelle will be able to land an interview with her favorite candidate (Monty).