S -- Now With Less Irish

If you're looking for something to really gobble up all your available free time, try genealogy.

After several years off -- hmmm, maybe 5 years -- I'm back into it again, and my yard and house are suffering accordingly. Really, there's got to be something wrong with me to enjoy reading census records.

I've noticed one benefit of losing interest in genealogy for span of years: when you get back into it, there's so much more available online that it's fascinating all over again.

For me, this includes finding out -- much to my disappointment -- that a family I previously thought was from Ireland was in fact from England, like about 80% of the rest of my family tree.

Things I learned on vacation

• On any given night, Family Guy reruns are usually airing on at least one cable channel.
• Brewery and winery tours are significantly more enjoyable for those who actually drink alcohol and partake of the free samples.
• The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum isn't as interesting as it sounds, but I may be the only person who thinks so because the place was packed with tourists.
• Henry Ford's company isn't doing so hot right now but his museum sure is cool.
• I don't drive fast enough to live in Detroit.
• I don't like smelt. It's quite possibly the only fried fish I've had that I can't stand.
• Pop can/bottle deposits are a royal pain.
• I prefer my pasties with a significant amount of gravy.

Raccoon guts, whiplash -- what kind of welcome home is this?

If you're easily grossed out, quit reading now.

So, I was out of state on vacation for over a week and traveled about 2,500 miles across 5 states without incident.

Literally seconds after crossing the state line in Wheeling, a semi in the passing lane just ahead of me ran over a very dead, bloated raccoon, spraying guts all over my windshield and the front of the car. My reaction? "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww, nooooooooooooooooooooooo!" And of course I hit the wipers immediately.

Ah, and the smell. Let's just say it was memorable.

I searched for an exit with a car wash, but found none. We quickly figured out we could put the AC on recirculate and reduce the odor, so we decided to wait it out till Washington, PA, where I remembered seeing a car wash.

Now, if this ever happens to you, don't wait to wash it off. It was over 90 degrees that day, so by the time we reached Washington, the green stuff was baked on. The car wash got a lot of it off, but there's still some there and I haven't yet gotten the courage to go scrub it off.

As if that wasn't enough excitement, the very next day I was sitting in traffic and got in my first-ever fender bender. Thank goodness it did no damage to either car (so probably it doesn't even qualify as a fender bender). The guy behind me in the line of traffic hit the back of my car when the light turned green. It just gave me a good jolt. No lasting effects besides some neck stiffness that day, and honestly that could have been a result of stress and not from the actual impact.

So, yeah, I'm glad to be home, but geesh -- I'm getting kind of afraid to leave the house.