Grammar, dress police
So, now that the workers' comp issue seems to be taken care of for the time being, the new governor has moved on to more weighty issues: grammar and guidelines for business attire. Hmmm, what's next? Maybe de-twanging?

I just hope the gov isn't going to start calling random state employees to see if they're using the approved "May I help you" instead of "Can I help you." Once I had a temp job during which the elderly man in charge of the small office would prank call me to test my ability to route calls and take messages. That week I'd been working as the receptionist and I'd had no complaints about my message-taking. Several days into this particular assignment, I got a call from an especially difficult individual who declined to give me any personal information, such as what he was calling about. Keep in mind most callers were all too happy to chat incessantly when leaving a message. This guy, however, would only give his first name and kept repeating that he was a personal friend of Mr. X.

So I took that message, and was almost immediately called into the old man's office who berated me for taking an incomplete message. He had placed the call, not his friend "Joe."

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT HE'S CALLING ABOUT?" He screeched.

I said nothing, but I wish I'd said, "I imagined you couldn't have more than one friend, so I thought you'd know precisely what he was calling about."

It was partly because of that temp job that I altered my career plans. I'd originally planned to follow in the career footsteps of the old man (not him, specifically, but the profession in general).

The tale of Mr. Powerball, as told by the Washington Post (sign in required)
(link from Amy in VA - thanks!)

This lengthy story is a nice summary of how things transpired, how we were all blown away by what seemed to be good intentions of tithing 10 percent, setting up a foundation to help the needy, donating to churches, etc., (Of course, there's the obligatory mention of Mr. Powerball's dental health that makes me cringe.) and then how things started going downhill fast. I practically had to make a chart to keep all of the sad characters in order touched somehow by the Powerball story. There's more than enough here for a TV mini-series.

My favorite sentence in the story:

(referring to the day he bought his ticket)
In convenience stores and gas stations across West Virginia, 15 people every second commemorated Jesus's birthday by plunking down $1 for a chance at a different kind of salvation: that Powerball jackpot.

Another great line refers to the "Hurricane Church of the Powerball" (LOL).

On a related note, Jerry wrote late last week to tell me he'd been interviewed by "A Current Affair." The topic? Yes, Mr. Powerball.

To Twang or Not to Twang
A theater group in Kentucky is putting on a class to help children in that area reduce their accents, which will, they say, "broaden their performance opportunities and improve overall marketability." I wonder if similar things are done for children in the deep south and other areas with distinct dialects?

Yes, we wear shoes, and we can make films, too
West Virginian Morgan Spurlock has been nominated for an Academy Award for his documentary "Super Size Me." I have to admit that I don't know Morgan, but it should be no surprise to you that I know someone who knows someone who is related to him. That's just the way it is in this state. I hope he gets a super size Oscar.

Not a good sign
I'm trying to download tax forms from irs.gov and I keep getting pop-up ads for an online casino. I think I'm infected with spyware. I shall blame it on the computer's previous owner.

Pathetic
After days of hearing about the BIG SNOWSTORM headed our way, the storm was - in my corner of WV - was almost nonexistent. I went out on the obligatory grocery run Friday night, just like everyone else. I also went to Lowe's to stock up on supplies for a couple of home improvement projects I'm working on. If I'm going to be stranded for a couple of days, might as well be productive, I thought.

Ha.

A bit of ice and a bit of snow, followed by wind.

Big deal.

Grrrrrrr.

What were they thinking? (use Bugmenot if you aren't registered)
When I heard during the live radio coverage of the inauguration that Sen. RCB was in attendence, seated outside in the "bitter cold," I cringed and shook my head. I don't care if he is from a certified hard-scrabble background; that man needs to be kept as safe and comfortable as possible, e.g. napping in an oxygen chamber and waking long enough to sip a fountain-of-youth mega-vitamin cocktail and to pass appropriation bills.

Today's randomness
Soooo, we have a new governor. He must be fond of the state motto, as it's now featured on the governor's web site prominently. I'm not opposed to that; I like the state motto, even though I once had a difficult time explaining it to a foreigner (by foreigner I mean an actual foreigner, not just someone from out of state). He kept saying, "But everyone is free in America, right?"

Anyway, I'm quite miffed that I was not invited to the hardscrabble inaugural ball, which was probably held in a pool hall in St. Albans. Jerry knows all of the movers and shakers, so I'm guessing he will have a full report on the inaugural parties. I like knowing famous people so I can live vicariously through them.

There was a time when I would have actually dreamed of attending either the inauguration or the big "par-tay" afterward, but I think that started to wain when I worked catering during my senior year of college. My jobs included carrying mediocre food out to tables for the important and/or rich people invited to The Event Du Jour to consume. Then we waited nearby, enduring the boredom of The Program Du Jour, so we could swoop in and clean up.

It was the cold coffee that did it. Cup after cup of cold coffee - especially the ones with cream - forever changed my outlook on such social occasions. I don't know why exactly, but I found the cold coffee the most vile part of the clean up, especially having to dump each cup into a large vat so it could be disposed of while the cups were loaded up for the dishwasher. That big old container of cold, milky coffee. Blech. It gives me chills just thinking about it. Wait, maybe that's because my thermostat is set at 60.

Oh, I know it wasn't really the cold coffee that set me on this course of sometimes extreme seclusion, but the cold coffee coincided with my realization that there was really nothing about big social events that I enjoyed, except for the occasional scrap of truly good food (which did not exist in the catering job I had). So I now avoid them like the plague. To be fair, I don't really have to work at avoiding them ;).

WV Quarter
Behold, the WV Quarter! You can order a five-coin set of the 2005 releases here. The West Virginia quarter will be the last one released this year, so if you really can't wait to get your paws on a WV quarter, it looks like you'll need to order the set.

Banish-ed
As of today, the online version of the Dominion Post is by paid subscription only. The link to their site has been duly removed from the list at right. Previously links to their articles will, I'm guessing, no longer work.

I don't mind so much that they've done this, but I am insulted by the lame attempt to sell it as some grand improvement (see the over-the-fold front-page story of today's print edition, if you're inclined to spend 50 cents on it). It kind of reminds me of the Coca-Cola company, which has the audacity to proclaim "NEW SMALLER SIZE!" in advertisements of its new, smaller bottles of soft drinks - as if the whole world has been clamoring for LESS of their product (at nearly the same price).

From the hardscrabble patrol
The memoirs of one of the most powerful hardscrabblers in the nation will be published in June. The description of the book on the publisher's website officially proclaims that Sen. RCB comes from "the hard-scrabble coalfields." I must have my personal secretary add RCB to the invitation list for the hardscrabble reunion.

A wrap-up of the year's news
I'm only a week late in linking to this, but in case you forgot the big WV news stories of 2004, here's a convenient listing of all of them (see Dec. 31, 2004, column, if it's already been replaced). Read through the whole list and you'll probably feel like, I don't know, auctioning off the state on Ebay.