Apologies
The Alpbilly was put on an earlier flight than planned, so last week I had to dash out of the house without saying that I would be on vacation and, for the most part, not blogging till after New Year's.

Nothing more festive than the father of psychoanalysis
During our travels last week, we stopped at an outlet mall in Maryland where the HOLIDAY (grrrrr) decorations consisted of small banners with what was supposed to be the word joy written in a variety of languages. They were hanging everywhere. The first line was in an alphabet I didn't recognize, so I can't assess the validity of that one. The next lines were JOY, FREUD, FELICE and JOIE.

Now, my German isn't what it used to be, and, frankly, it was never that great, but I thought "freud" wasn't a word, other than being Sigmund's last name. Finally the Alpbilly, who speaks all but one of the languages on the banner (with German being his native language), burst out laughing! "Sigmund Freud?! I think they forgot the E!" Yes, that's right. Freude, not Freud. Oh well.

'Losing Hope in Appalachia' - article in Boston Globe
I completely missed this one last week. Thanks to Jerry for sending me an e-mail about it today. The article is part of a year-long series of world health stories by the Globe. The statistics presented are sobering, to say the least -- e.g. a boy born in McDowell County has a life expectancy lower than 34 developing countries, like Vietnam & Mongolia. McDowell County men have the 6th lowest life expectancy in all U.S. counties; McDowell County women have the 7th lowest (data from Harvard & CDC study).

Some follow-up articles have appeared in the Charleston newspapers (see here and here). The latter contains this alarming stat: 9 of 10 kids in the county qualify for reduced or free lunch.

And now, a message from Safety Hillbilly
The Brooklyn Hillbilly writes the following in response to yesterday's blog entry:

I am stunned and appalled --- you don't never -- ever -- swerve to miss a deer ---- Countless people have died from the damn deer swerving -------- swerving leads to guardrails, ditches, ravines, oak trees, and oncoming traffic -- however, mowing down a deer (or multiple deer) is practically never fatal ----------- So, let's review Safety Hillbilly's procedure --
hit the brakes
blow the horn
do not swerve

dear s, it has been a year/we wish you was still here/and didn't try to miss that deer

Of deer and the dear departed
A recent AP article stated that deer-related auto accidents cost West Virginia insurers $44 million annually. That reminded me of my near-miss of a herd of deer on Route 50 Sunday night. I managed to swerve to the right to avoid the running pack of deer.

I was so spooked by the incident, however, that a few miles down the road I nearly wrecked again. This time I was in the passing lane passing a car (a good reason to be in the passing lane) when I saw a flicker of something in the median off in the distance. Another darn deer, I thought, and slammed on the brakes. No, no, my headlights had caught something shiny hanging from a cross in the median, a cross memorializing someone killed in an auto accident, I would assume.

The two crosses in the median have been there for months. There are crosses and other memorials at the sides of Route 50 at various locations, but I've never mistaken those for deer, dogs, cats, etc. There's a mailbox along Route 14, however, that (after dark) I almost always think is a deer lying in wait.

But, I digress.

The memorials at the sides of the road are likely on private property -- I'm not sure what the legal right-of-way is. These two crosses in the median, on the other hand, are most definitely on DOH property. I certainly don't begrudge someone the opportunity to memorialize their loved one -- I totally understand that -- but I don't think it's a great idea to have these objects in the median. It's fine during a sunny day, but after dark or, worse, after dark when the weather is hampering visibility, even such harmless objects can cause problems. The only things that should be in the median on Route 50 are well-fed ground hogs and the occasional state trooper's vehicle (waiting for bat-out-of-hell drivers like the Brooklyn Hillbilly).

BTW, as a sheer coincidence, I saw this story on FoxNews today.

Besides, everyone knows the appropriate tribute for a deceased family member is to place an ad in the newspaper directly addressing that person, such as "Daddy, we miss you each and every day. Our football tailgate parties just aren't the same without you. We are getting along OK, but we miss you." Those wishing to go one step further should make the message rhyme -- e.g. "It was 2 years ago today, that Jesus took you away, and we just wanted to say, we remember you every night when we pray."

You know it's time to turn up the heat...
...when both cats are camped out on the heat vents and refuse to budge even when the daily food ration is presented to them.

Pain in the neck
Apologies for lack of blogging and e-mails to those of you with whom I correspond on a regular basis. Somehow I've re-aggrevated my neck ailment (probably from excessive eye-rolling and dramatic sighing and shoulder dropping) that causes me to have a pesky headache and stiffness in my neck and upper back. Those symptoms leave me in a very pleasant mood, needless to say, and staring at the computer longer than absolutely necessary just makes things worse.

Icky in '04
He'll do his job, not his staff, say his campaign buttons (scroll waaaaaaaay down).

House Blogging
I received festive holiday greetings from my insurance company yesterday. Let’s see. How was it now? Oh yes, it went a little something like this: Joy to the world, we’re rais-ing your rates, to the tune, of forty-three, PERCENT! BAH! Yes, they’re raising house insurance rates in WV “an average of 43.8 percent.” If you have both your house and car insurance with them (I don’t), you get the bargain of only a 20 percent average increase.

It’s not like you can just go find another company. HA! That’s a funny one. No, many companies have completely stopped writing new policies in this state. I found that out last year when I bought my house. Here I thought the greatest challenge was going to be finding the house and negotiating a price. No, the real chore was getting insurance (a.k.a. in-shornce).

The state of the state bathrooms
Here's something to which I've not given a great deal of thought -- public restrooms in WV. This article is about an internet site that reviews public restrooms and includes some entries about facilities in WV.

I travel I-79 and Route 50 frequently, but I try to avoid using the, um, facilities. When that's necessary, however, I prefer to stop at a Sheetz. I find the ones in the Morgantown vacinity the cleanest (compared to Bridgeport). I sometimes resort to Wal-Mart (with great regret, especially the one at Bridgeport). I've also found the new gas station along Route 50 at Salem -- a Citgo, I think -- to have an immaculate women's restroom. Another newer gas station (Chevron, I think) near West Union, also on Route 50, has had very clean restrooms (and a clean, neat store) each time I've stopped there.

As bad as the restrooms at Wal-Mart usually are, they're still far better than the roadside toilets we stopped in Bulgaria (other, non-roadside toilets were fine). The roadside ones were, and I'm not kidding, holes in the ground. I took pictures because I knew no one would ever believe me when I got home.

JL godmother of 'fun ship'
Good grief. Jerry sent me this story. I admit that when I saw the headline (which he used as the subject of his e-mail) I immediately started wondering what the heck a carnival miracle was -- a kid conceived on the tilt-a-whirl?

Speaking of JL, the AP reported that she spent her Thanksgiving in Colorado. I wonder when the Colorado AP will permanently take over the JL watch.

In case you're wondering - and I know you are - some other cruise ship godmothers have included the likes of Chris Evert, Whoopi Goldberg, Julie Andrews and astronaut Tamara Jernigan.