Guaranteed below 90 degrees or the lemonade's on us
Amy in Virginia sent me this story about Bluefield (yes, the WV Bluefield, not the VA Bluefield) that appeared in the Washington Post, but before I could add it here, I saw it listed on this Web site, which, I think, may not require sign in. So, here it goes -- read all about the lemonade lassies and the cool city of Bluefield ;).

What kind of dressing would you like for your side saddle?  How about "FRANCH"?
Just heard Rush Limbaugh reference this story on his show.  Of course, WV is included in this article about remarks made by Iowa's first lady.  Side saddle?  Is it possible that the waitress just misspoke?  Could you find nothing else bad to say about WV speech?  Geesh. 

Hot dog sauce - a regional phenomenon?
The Brooklyn Hillbilly phoned this morning with alarming news:  his NYC colleagues and friends do not know what hot dog sauce is, nor do they seem to believe in its existence (or at least that it's completely difference from chili).  It is, you see, the very weighty issues that cause the BH to call me.

The BH stumbled upon this info recently when he ordered frankfurters at an NYC deli and, when asked what he wanted on his dogs, stated that he wanted "sauce."  He was asked if he meant hot sauce.  No, he said, "hot dog sauce."  "Ketchup?" asked the confused deli employee.  Finally the BH settled for ketchup and joined his friend who was waiting at a table nearby.  When he began relating the story to her about the dimwitted deli guy, her reaction was the same - "You mean hot sauce?" 

After doing some questioning of his acquaintances, he found that none of them knew what he was talking about, nor is there an NYC equivalent (besides chili, which we have established is different because it has BEANS!). 

Coincidentally, there's a column in today's Daily Mail that briefly mentions some of WV's culinary traditions and tells how "Chef Boyardee" got his start at the Greenbrier.  BTW, I have never eaten a hot dog topped with coleslaw and didn't realize that was a WV thing.  Yech.

UPDATE:  Jerry says I'm a complete freak for not liking coleslaw on hot dogs and suggests a federal study to investigate my malady.

And even more great PR
Now we're in the news for chicken mistreatment.  I don't even want to hear the jokes.

For Sale: Votes
The going rate for votes in Logan County is apparently between $10 and $100.  Keep watch for more on this investigation.  Rumor is there's lots more to come.

Mad as Hell
If people feel passionately enough to phone in death threats to the Diocese of Wheeling-Charleston over their new cemetery policies, then I guess there's little hope to get state officials to do anything about the highway median memorials.  Yes, the one on Route 50 is STILL there (as of Sunday, July 11, at about 6 p.m.) and appears to have been updated and modified throughout the spring and summer.  Yet another median memorial has cropped up in a  dangerous intersection just east of the first one.

Required Reading
I enjoyed these great columns in the Daily mail today (here and here).
 
Hair Club for Democrats
I was watching coverage of John Kerry's most recent visit to the Mountain State on the news last night.  At one point WV gubernatorial candidate Joe Manchin was on stage with Kerry, and I was struck by how much Manchin's hair resembled the much-discussed (and even drooled-over - gag) hair of John Kerry. 
 
For those of you keeping score at home, it was Kerry's fourth visit to WV.  Here's the story in the Gazette (see bottom of page 2 for slightly amusing paragraph about the "obstacles" Kerry encountered during the speech).

More great publicity
Unfortunately, someone at the AP chose to use the phrase "wife beater" (referring to a style of muscle t-shirts banned at a WV high school) in the headline and this story has made its rounds nationally.

And just wait till I find a link to the story about the man in Monongalia County who is recovering from injuries sustained after an outhouse exploded. Sadly, I'm not kidding. The man's cigarette ignited the methane gas. The outhouse was a portable one, not the stereotypical half-moon variety (if that makes any difference). Still, I'm sure the national press will have a field day with an exploding outhouse in West Virginia. Sigh.

UPDATE - The AP has now revised their original wording in the aforementioned "outhouse explosion" story. It's now being called a "portable toilet."

Bad economy? I'll drink to that!
The state sold a record amount of liquor in 2003-04! YEEEEEEEhaw. Makes me want to go out and gamble to celebrate the good news. Of course, this fantastic news about liquor sales doesn't really make up for the recent announcement that Pennsylvania will install slot machines, potentially harming WV's great casinos-not-called-casinos industry.

Dancing no more
If you've wondered whatever became of the Dancing Outlaw, here's the answer to that question.

Random notes from my weekend travels
Cheapest gasoline: $1.69 for regular unleaded, just outside Johnson City, TN

Writing on the bathroom wall
In NC it's apparently required that restaurants post signs in their restrooms not only to instruct employees to wash their hands after using the bathroom (and before beginning a shift, as the sign stated), but also to tell them to DRY their hands using an approved hand-drying system. I suppose it makes sense that drying hands on one's filthy, contaminated pants (which is what I normally do) is not a good thing when you're in the food service industry, but the resulting sign is practically thesis-length because it must list the legalese for washing AND drying the hands.