Tis the Season for Killing Deer
The weather in WV this weekend was just beautiful -- perfect for building tree-stands or tacking up No Hunting signs about every six inches around the perimeter of your property. I used to absolutely hate deer season. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the bullets whizzing by the house, or seeing the carcasses strapped to vehicles, or the TRAFFIC (yes, traffic) caused by the out of town visitors.

Now that I've lived for several years in a place where deer season is just a minor headline in the newspaper, I, too, don't think much about it, except for when I go home for Thanksgiving and find the dogs cowering in the corners of the house, determined that all the bullets outside are meant for them.

As a car owner, I also can say that seeing those dead "Bambi" bodies being hauled around doesn't have quite the same effect on me. One less deer to dodge on Route 50, I think, and drive on. Yeah, now that I have a car, I'm practically standing at the forest's edge shouting cheers, "Shoot 'em up, shoot 'em up, rah rah rah!"

WV author on 'Fresh Air'
Lee Maynard (author of Crum & Screaming With the Cannibals) was interviewed on 'Fresh Air' today. Hat tip to Jerry for sending me the link. I missed it, so I'll be listening to the interview online when I get to a computer with speakers.

Flooding, but what else is new?
And, to go with the flooding, the exceedingly poor judgment of one WV woman has been shown all over the national TV airwaves (including the Weather Channel and, just now, on FoxNews' The Factor). She drove through barriers, which included fire trucks, and into flood water and had to be rescued. Here's more about it in this article.

It's situations like these that make me wish people could be cited for sheer stupidity. I'd like to read that in the daily report. It's sort of like "failure to use due care," right? John Doe, 25, Nitro, sheer stupidity, fined $100 plus court costs. Seriously, couldn't she be fined for breaking through the barricades? She put people's lives (the rescuers) in danger, not to mention the damage caused to the property where her car was deposited by the flood water.

The houses are here, but nobody's home
In today's Daily Mail: "West Virginia made one of the biggest jumps in the nation's total number of vacation homes during the past 10 years. " As the researcher quoted in the article points out, the surprising thing is the second homes are distributed throughout the state, not just in the eastern panhandle or mountainous ski resort areas where you might typically imagine second homes. Only three counties -- Pleasants (also the smallest county in the state by area), Jefferson & Greenbrier -- have fewer vacation/second homes now than a decade ago.

Back in the good old days
Here's an interesting column about the first West Virginia Encyclopedia published in 1929. This is my favorite tidbit: "The Legislature met only once every two years. In 1917, when America entered World War I, it passed a law against idleness, the first of its kind. 'Nearly 1,000 persons were arrested, and probably 5,000 more were frightened into employment.'"

Hmmm, I guess it's pretty safe to assume that law's no longer on the books.

A rare species - the hillbilly tollbooth cat
This is a neat story about a cat who has taken up residence at the Yeager Airport parking area. Employees and frequent users of the parking lot look Parker the cat. I can't imagine either of my cats adapting to life anywhere remotely close to loud aircraft.

Two hillbillies walk into a martini bar
Too bad I have no punchline. In their continued attempts to broaden my social horizons, the Brooklyn Hillbilly and Carolina asked me to accompany them to a martini bar Friday night while the BH was briefly in the Mountain State. It was a nice enough establishment (pleasant decor, soft background music) but would have been even nicer if there had been about 75 fewer people crammed into the place. Since I don't drink alcohol*, I can't speak to the quality of the martinis, but Carolina said they were excellent.

While we were standing there, observing that most males of typical college age look exactly alike, one of those individuals said loudly into a cell phone, "Hey, bitch, where are ya?" His tone was pleasant, as if he was using it as a term of endearment.

The BH asked me, "Don't you wish you had someone to call you bitch?"

"Yes," I sighed, "maybe someday I'll meet that special someone."


*No, I'm not a recovering alcoholic, nor is any member of my family, and, no, drinking alcohol is not against my religion.

"Thank God for horse crap"
The owners of a Kanawha County horse barn that avoided major structural damage during a flood earlier this week credit a large pile of horse manure (about 5 ft. high & the size of a "baseball diamond") with buffering the barn from the worst of the raging flood waters. All of the horses in the stable escaped injury and were led through the water to higher ground. I guess, as Martha Stewart would say, a five-foot high pile of dung can be a "good thing."

Lap dances, 'special drinks' skirt taxation
Given his keen interest in both strippers and the law, the Brooklyn Hillbilly will find this story fascinating. Basically, the WV Supreme Court ruled yesterday that payments clubs give dancers for performing "private dances" aren't taxable under WV law. Justice Warren McGraw wrote "that strippers taking special drinks and performing private dances are essentially acting as subcontractors for the club. Therefore, state law exempts any payments they receive for that work from sales tax."

The Brooklyn Hillbilly drops in
If he can manage to take a break from downloading the Paris Hilton sex video and alleged JL naked photos on Kazaa, I'll be visiting with the Brooklyn Hillbilly tonight while he is passing through the state.

Random thoughts about the Jessi ABC interview
The aerial shots of the Palestine* countryside surprised me. It looks so different from the air (duh) -- so very, I don't know, New England? It reminded me of the beginning of The Witches of Eastwick.

I was impressed by how composed JL was throughout. Diane S. continues to remind me of Martha Stewart. I just can't get that out of my head.

As usual, I'm still obsessed with minutia. Yes, the mall thing. She confirmed that she had not been to a mall until her senior year (time of the oft-mentioned trip to Charleston), but qualified that by saying "a big mall." By that we can assume she means the oft-mentioned trip to Charleston. I know what she means by "a big mall," but -- oh, I don't know -- the key is she just hadn't traveled widely outside of the area.

Unless I missed something at the very beginning (darn the phone), I thought the portrayal of the county was fair. Unemployment and poverty statistics were quoted. The scenes of the town and surrounding area (that I saw) seemed representative. They didn't, for example, find some guy with one tooth and hold him up as a typical Wirt Countian (always a fear of mine). I did not detect an effort to create a picture of "backwoods Appalachia" -- rather, it seemed the angle was presenting the community as "Anytown, USA," if you will.

I was happy to see time devoted to other members of the 507th Maintenance company, especially those who died in the ambush. It was also nice to see the Iraqi nurses and doctors who treated her.

This is my favorite the-community-reacts-to-the-ABC-interview story. I love the assessor's assessment of Rick Bragg -- he could use a haircut, she said. I have to admit I was a little surprised by him. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but that wasn't it.

*I am referring to Palestine, a small town in West Virginia, which is a state in the United States of America. In case you stumbled upon this by accident -- and I certainly DO apologize for your misfortune -- I want to make it known that I am not in any way trying to comment about anything in the Middle East.

Veterans' Day Broadcaster Blunder
I love watching the morning news on one of the local stations.

This morning the perky morning anchor read off several Veterans' Day events in northcentral WV, including, as she put it, the "pow-mee-uh" vigil tonight in Morgantown. Luckily, the translation of this phrase was on the screen at the time: POW/MIA. She said it so confidently and without hesitation that, by the time I got to work, I'd nearly convinced myself that it was an accepted pronunciation of the acronym.

Happy Veterans' Day
Sigh. Jerry sent me a URL for this story in the NY Daily News this morning, and then this follow-up on Fox News -- re: the alleged JL topless photos. Here's what the Daily Mail has to say about this topic, as well as the debut of the book in Charleston bookstores.

*Update* The WV Media "statewide news network" reporter accompanying the Lynch family in NYC just stated that JL and family have canceled their evening plans to tour the city because of hoard of photographers that flocked to the hotel following Larry Flynt's announcement.

As difficult as it is, I think she should go on with her book tour. Not that there's an option NOT to -- I imagine there are contractual obligations. When reporters ask questions, she should just say it was a stupid thing to have done (if indeed they're really photos of her) and, like most people, she has done things of which she's not especially proud, and since that time she has certainly grown up and changed a great deal. It's best to get out there and create more (new) headlines instead of allowing these alleged photos to be discussed ad nauseum, in my extremely humble opinion.

On a completely different note, it occurs to me that it's too bad that the Brooklyn Hillbilly is in WV this week instead of NYC. It would be nice if he could show JL the town.

Countdown
What is it now? 23-plus hours till the big interview airs? I admit I don't know the exact time it'll be on ABC.

Here's the Time article that I've heard people talking about today on the radio and TV. The last three pages of the article have quite a bit from Dee & Greg Lynch Sr. No snide WV remarks that I noticed (e.g. "hollers"). In fact, they use the word "valley" to describe where the Lynch home is situated. Sadly, neither of my favorites -- hardscrabble and bucolic -- were included in the story.

It's amusing to me, somewhat, to see the headlines various news outlets put on articles that say basically the same thing. Some say they're from a wire service - others are re-written by staffers with a slightly different twist. The ones about JL saying she felt there was no need to film her rescue (and whatever else it was that came out that day) have headlines ranging from "Jessica Lynch laments military portrayal" to "Jessica Lynch condemns Pentagon" (that was the BBC's take on it). Condemns the Pentagon? They take the same quotes and one gets "laments" and the other "condemns."

Fun Times in Logan: What do you MEAN my son's unsportsmanlike?! (WHAP*BAM)
So, after her son was ejected from the game for three unsportsman-like conduct fouls, the mother of a Logan football player decided to set the record straight by, um, allegedly assaulting the official.

Pet Peeve: People who talk to cereal boxes
This has been annoying me for sometime: People who carry on loud conversations on cell phones while walking through a store or other public places.

I have on more than one occasion pushed my cart into an aisle to be confronted by the image of someone (seemingly) having an animated conversation with the merchandise. I've seen women talking to maxi pads, men chatting to cereal boxes, etc. And, since their cell phones are the size of credit cards, you can't necessarily SEE the cell phone. So, for a few seconds, it really appears that the person is consulting a tissue box (or similar item) for suggestions on where to go for dinner.

Sometimes the conversations are related to the shopping excursion, which, I suppose, I can forgive. If your wife sends you out for corn flakes and you're befuddled by the numerous choices, then, fine, call her up for a consultation. But, often, the conversations are completely unrelated and of a social nature. It's just a given that it's always a LOUD conversation: "YOU WANNA MEET DOWNTOWN?! YEAH! MAYBE EIGHT O'CLOCK?! IS B.J. COMING? NO?! WHY NOT?!"

Grrrrr....

And it's not just me -- the dog of which I currently have custody (long story - one of my dad's) finds it annoying, too! The other night we were taking our final walk of the night at about 10:30 p.m. As we walked down one side of the street, a young woman on the sidewalk on the other side of the street was carrying on a conversation with an unseen person (presumably on a cell phone). As she got closer to us and continued to talk loudly, Sam stopped in his tracks and turned around and stared directly at her -- turning his head from side to side as if she were clucking like a chicken or making some other bizarre sound (which I occasionally do to perk up his ears for photos). She passed, still chatting away, and Sam look up at me as if to say, "Now if that isn't the darndest thing I've ever seen."

So, when I finally dragged myself out of bed this morning, I saw the PARADE lying there on the floor. Hmmm, what's this? Oh, some JL look alike. What? It's her? Huh? My buddy in Charleston also found the photo rather odd and unlike other JL photos we've seen. He sent me this fine triptych to illustrate the point. The PARADE picture is on the left. The other two are from ABC's pre-interview publicity.



*UPDATE* Go here to see the full PARADE cover on Jerry's site.

Made for TV
In today's Gazette there's a review of the JL TV movie that will air Sunday at 9 p.m. on NBC. I haven't yet decided if I'm going to watch it. What I read in the review isn't exactly tempting me to sit through two hours of the made-for-TV madness.

Passing of a political legend
If you've lived in WV any length of time, then you've probably met or at least been at an event attended by A. James Manchin. The Brooklyn Hillbilly and I were once seated at a table with Manchin during a youth in government program in Charleston. I have little or no memory of this -- just one of many years completely obliterated from my memory -- but I trust the BH on this.

I saw him other places, too, that I definitely remember. For example, one day he just showed up at the college cafeteria. I'm not sure why he was there, but there he was, going table to table greeting people.

Yeah, he was kind of kooky -- "flamboyant" is the term people are using in the tributes -- but he really seemed to love the state.

Wedding bells
The AP reported this morning that JL and her beau are planning a June wedding, according to the beau's mother. The story also states that the couple may end up residing in Colorado.