Things I learned on vacation

• On any given night, Family Guy reruns are usually airing on at least one cable channel.
• Brewery and winery tours are significantly more enjoyable for those who actually drink alcohol and partake of the free samples.
• The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum isn't as interesting as it sounds, but I may be the only person who thinks so because the place was packed with tourists.
• Henry Ford's company isn't doing so hot right now but his museum sure is cool.
• I don't drive fast enough to live in Detroit.
• I don't like smelt. It's quite possibly the only fried fish I've had that I can't stand.
• Pop can/bottle deposits are a royal pain.
• I prefer my pasties with a significant amount of gravy.

Raccoon guts, whiplash -- what kind of welcome home is this?

If you're easily grossed out, quit reading now.

So, I was out of state on vacation for over a week and traveled about 2,500 miles across 5 states without incident.

Literally seconds after crossing the state line in Wheeling, a semi in the passing lane just ahead of me ran over a very dead, bloated raccoon, spraying guts all over my windshield and the front of the car. My reaction? "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww, nooooooooooooooooooooooo!" And of course I hit the wipers immediately.

Ah, and the smell. Let's just say it was memorable.

I searched for an exit with a car wash, but found none. We quickly figured out we could put the AC on recirculate and reduce the odor, so we decided to wait it out till Washington, PA, where I remembered seeing a car wash.

Now, if this ever happens to you, don't wait to wash it off. It was over 90 degrees that day, so by the time we reached Washington, the green stuff was baked on. The car wash got a lot of it off, but there's still some there and I haven't yet gotten the courage to go scrub it off.

As if that wasn't enough excitement, the very next day I was sitting in traffic and got in my first-ever fender bender. Thank goodness it did no damage to either car (so probably it doesn't even qualify as a fender bender). The guy behind me in the line of traffic hit the back of my car when the light turned green. It just gave me a good jolt. No lasting effects besides some neck stiffness that day, and honestly that could have been a result of stress and not from the actual impact.

So, yeah, I'm glad to be home, but geesh -- I'm getting kind of afraid to leave the house.

Entertainment Marathon

I'd been pretty stressed in the days leading up to Labor Day weekend, so I took my mind off things by going on a sort of entertainment marathon:

a couple of hours of paddleboating



three hours of bluegrass music during a taping of Song of the Mountains

Awesome. I hope to return for the Oct. 6 show.

two games of bowling at what can only be described
as an extremely vintage alley (but in a cool kind of way)

mountain biking six miles in one hour

Famous last words: "It's called the Lake Trail, so it just goes around the shore of the lake, right?" Answer, six miles later: Yes, but this is Appalachia, so the shore is a series of steep climbs and mildly frightening descents.

one hour of flat water kayaking

My first time in a kayak. Loved it!

PLUS:

• Swimming in the motel pool
  
• Pinball
• One game of miniature golf at an evil course
• Lots and lots of eating, of course

Driving American: "You know what FORD stands for, right?"

...says the car rental lady.

Well, yes, I believe I've heard that little joke before, but it's a product YOUR company offers. Are you telling me it's inferior?

That's like walking into an apparel store and the clerk saying, "Oh, you're not buying those pants are you? 'Cause they're really poor quality."

She was trying to convince us to take a foreign economy car. We had already planned on getting the Ford Focus because that's what we had reserved online, so when she asked us if the other car would be OK, we protested slightly. By that point in the process, we had become a little suspicious of everything she said. So we held our ground and requested the Focus.

OK, she said, and then dramatically pointed out the company's free roadside assistance number "just in case you need it."

So, that was how we got our very first rental car. We were very pleased to find an almost-new Focus awaiting us. For us, that was pretty special -- any nearly new car of any make is very cool.



I admit we put the car through some severe conditions -- dust, extreme heat, severe inclines, etc. And it held up just fine. The car handled well, was comfortable, and over all FELT very much like my four-year old foreign car. It had about the same amount of room in the interior and trunk and comparable features.

There was, however, one very big difference that quickly became apparent:

GAS MILEAGE

OK, my four-year old Japanese car gets about 37 mpg highway, sometimes even more than that. The 2007 model of my car gets 40 mpg highway.

The brand new Ford Focus? 27 mpg.

That difference adds up fast, especially with gas prices ranging between $3 and $4 per gallon.

So, Ford can build a car that feels and looks about like my Japanese car, has about the same amount of interior space, and similar features, but it can't make that car get comparable gas mileage. This wasn't, of course, the first time I'd realized this issue with American cars; it was just the first time I'd experienced it for myself as a driver. To be honest, it was depressing.

6/26/07 Update: According to various websites, the mileage for the Ford Focus ranges from 27 in the city to 37 on the highway for manual transmission (we were driving an automatic). Soooo, take the above as what it is: a random anecdote from a short-term Ford Focus driver.