Probably not what Nicholas County tourism officials had in mind
As luck would have it, it seems Mel Gibson's father resides in Summersville. Normally it would be kind of cool to have a big-time movie star's parents living in WV, but in this case, the parent reportedly (see page two of the article) made the following statement to a New York radio station:

"(Jews) have to go where there is money. There is no way they would come to West Virginia. They have to have some place to go that has money. They didn't work in the mines, you can bet your boots."

*banging head against wall*

BAH! Why, oh why can't you just live in Summersville and say you moved there because of the glorious lake or the close proximity to whitewater rafting or the annual ramp feasts that will be starting any time now?!

The Brooklyn Hillbilly wrote me the following after reading the article, and I concur: "I can't even comment. I am still speechless. I never thought I would yearn for the day of J.L. good press."

I don't think I really need to cite sources confirming that there ARE in fact Jewish people in West Virginia, but just in case, here are a couple:

WVculture.org: "During the period from approximately 1888 to 1930, almost three million Jews immigrated to America. The period also coincided with the coal boom, and many Jewish immigrant families moved into these new rural Appalachian communities in the vicinity of such towns as Beckley and Welch."

And then there's this (complete with photos) by a professor at WVU - see especially page 2 which includes this statement: "The state's strong conservative and Fundamentalist Christian traditions, with their reverence for the Hebrew scriptures, helped cultivate an unusually high level of cooperation between West Virginia Gentiles and Jews."

Of course, I realize Gibson's statement about Jews in West Virginia is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to his ridiculous comments.

Blogging will cease or be very light until my mood improves. I see no reason spreading my morose thoughts. Venomous, yeah sure, but not morose. I just can't justify that ;-).

But, just one parting link for the Fiddling While Rome Burns file: Bill would regulate tongue-splitting.

There's yet another bill before the legislature that would classify as animal cruelty the practice of debarking dogs (haven't found a permalink yet). So, we have tongue-splitting and debarking all in the same session.

Well, it's funny that I wrote that yesterday and today -- well, let me just say I'm a single hillbilly once again. Thank goodness Sam the flower-sending dog is still here.

V.D. introspection
Valentine's Day, that is. I spent the day watching basketball, but it's difficult to completely forget the day, no matter hard you try.

I had a great Valentine's Day once. My then-boyfriend sent me a dozen roses -- red and white. Oh, what a joyous day it was to lug home a giant bunch of roses. About a month later he broke up with me, citing his newly-discovered homosexuality as the reason. A good reason, I suppose.

The October before I went to college, a stray we called Betsy deposited five puppies in our yard. And I mean deposited. She didn't even bother to collect them and put them in a dog house, but anyway, of the two males we kept from that litter, we had the foresight to give one of them a human name - Samson (yes, I admit there was a Delilah, but she got a home with someone else who, I hope, changed her name). My mom used his name to send me flowers every year on Valentine's Day while I was in college. When I got the small bouquet from "Sam," I always knew they were from a dog (well, my mother) and not some secret admirer named Sam. I'm just not the type to have a secret admirer. Now my mom is gone and the dog who "sent" me flowers is lying here on my living room floor, obviously nearing the end of his life.

Saturday I came home and found a package in my mailbox. I smiled. It was from an elderly relative -- wishing me a Happy Valentine's Day. Aside from putting out a heart-shaped soap by my bathroom sink, that was the extent of my VD celebration. But instead of simply enjoying the exquisite, WV-made chocolates inside, I couldn't help concentrating on the shaky handwriting on the envelope and feeling a little sadder that time is passing by and I am losing more than I'm gaining, if you know what I mean.

I say that as a critique of myself. It's my own darn fault. For example, I have lived in this general vacinity for almost 9 years and I (casually) know one person in this town. And know how I met her? The Brooklyn Hillbilly. Oh, I've never been good at meeting people and making friends, but this last decade has been especially bad (it is even more depressing to realize I'm now categorizing my life by decades). While it's true that if you don't make friends they can't die, reject you, or otherwise prove disappointing, it also means that, um, you're alone anyway. Maybe someday I'll get the message.

Brain usage profile (via Michelle)

Hmmm, even my brain sounds boring:

S, you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant and show a preference for visual learning, although not extreme in either characteristic. You probably tend to do most things in moderation, but not always.

Your left-hemisphere dominance implies that your learning style is organized and structured, detail oriented and logical. Your visual preference, though, has you seeking stimulation and multiple data. Such an outlook can overwhelm structure and logic and create an almost continuous state of uncertainty and agitation. You may well suffer a feeling of continually trying to "catch up" with yourself.

Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor. You can "size up" situations and take in information rapidly. However, you must then subject that data to being classified and organized which causes you to "lose touch" with the immediacy of the problem.

Your logical and methodical nature hamper you in this regard though in the long run it may work to your advantage since you "learn from experience" and can go through the process more rapidly on subsequent occasions.

You remain predominantly functional in your orientation and practical. Abstraction and theory are secondary to application. In keeping with this, you focus on details until they manifest themselves in a unique pattern and only then work with the "larger whole."

With regards to your career choices, you have a mentality that would be good as a scientist, coach, athlete, design consultant, or an engineering technician (HA!!!!). You can "see where you want to go" and even be able to "tell yourself," but find that you are "fighting yourself" at the darndest times.

Black gold
Jim sent me a link to this article about oil (erl) bubbling up into a Texas home. Of course, it refers to the Beverly Hillbillies, as any good story about black gold should.

I guess this is one thing I probably don't have to worry about as a WV homeowner, but I do occasionally worry about mine subsidence gobbling up my little shack. My house sits atop a hill in a town, but I can just imagine the old mine shafts snaking underneath the ground (for the first time in my WV life, I actually live in coal country).

Yet another brilliant WV (alleged) criminal
More proof that crime doesn't pay. An alleged beer thief fell from the back of the alleged get-away truck and was killed. Jerry suggests that this tragic incident may provide the beer company a great new slogan -- "Men don't just LOVE ___ beer.. It's beer to DIE for!"

Read the police report on the aforementioned "pot lady"
Thanks to the Brooklyn Hillbilly for sending me this link. Not only can you see the police report, but you can also view the pot lady's mug shot, which I'm sure she'll be able to use later on when she places a personal ad on YahooPersonals.

**By the way, please bear with me. I'm really behind on answering e-mail, reading blogs, writing my usual boring drivel, etc.

Hehehe...a WV spin on the "accidental" breast-baring at the Super Bowl and the kind of local advertisements it might inspire.

That's right, officer, someone stole my pot!
Good grief. You've got to love some WV-ians. Some of stash our cash in our vehicles. And some of us phone the police to report stolen illegal drugs!

For all you folks betting on the race for WV governor
Bob Kelly handicaps the gubernatorial candidates in his column today. His comments about "twang" being an issue in ads rather surprise me. I'd never considered that before, but it may well be a valid point. As long as the candidate doesn't say "inshornce," "used ta could," "physical year" (fiscal) or use the word "blow" for rest ("Since Bob is settin' out for a blow, elect me for gov'nor!"), I probably won't notice.

Twitching hillbilly
I was telling the Brooklyn Hillbilly the other day that I knew something bad was going to happen because I have a REALLY IMPORTANT APPOINTMENT (imagine quotation marks in the air) next week and I have to be at the top of my game. I have been preparing for the REALLY IMPORTANT APPOINTMENT for a couple of weeks now -- gathering materials, preparing what I'm going to say, etc.

While it's not the natural disaster I was envisioning, the eyelid twitch I've suddenly developed is horribly annoying. Plus, the recurring neck problem has resurfaced. The two are probably related. The stiff neck gives me a headache, which makes it nearly impossible to concentrate for any significant amount of time (not to mention sitting in anything resembling a normal pose). And then the eyelid twitch kicks in and I'm a full-blown freak show.

I imagine I'll make a charming first impression when I stagger in with my immobile neck, having to turn my entire body to greet each person. Oh, it'll be lovely. So lovely I'm sure they won't bother asking me back for a second REALLY IMPORTANT APPOINTMENT.

Hmmm, maybe if it doesn't clear up I could get a neck brace and an eye patch. Then I'd probably fall over something because my peripheral vision would be screwed up, and that could get really ugly as I've determined I need to wear a skirt to this REALLY IMPORTANT APPOINTMENT.

Ahhh, well, I have the whoooooooooole weekend to stew about this.

Angels snatch yet another mortal
Amy in VA sent me this one, saying, "Just when I think no one will find a new way to die, _______ proves me wrong."

"On this date, the mighty angels from above chose to grant ________, 82, her eternal wings of life, in her home after a long illness."

Michelle has me beat, but this is still a fun thing.

States I've visited:


create your own visited states map

And, for good measure, the countries I've visited:


create your own visited country map

Officer Stupid of the Word Police
Ah yes, the word police are out in force in Pittsburgh. A girl was suspended from school for saying "hell" -- referring to the place, as in the opposite of heaven. She reportedly told another kid he was going to hell because he took the Lord's name in vain (a rather ballsy thing to say, I thought).

Another part of the story that irritates me is that another student overheard her saying the word hell and that's why she was suspended. Seems to me the teacher should at least have to hear the word uttered.

Rules about words really frustrate and irk the hell out of me (hehehe). As far as language goes, I lived a pretty tame childhood, or so I thought. At some point in my early adulthood I was having dinner with a family who had a young child. While telling a story, I said something to the effect of, "So, I was driving down the highway and the stupid car just stalls."

The kid gasps as if I've declared there were no tooth fairy, Santa Claus or Easter Bunny. "What?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

"You said a bad word."

My mind races -- did I drop in a four letter word?

Finally one of the parents steps in because I'm obviously too far out of it to understand. "We don't say S-T-U-P-I-D."

Sweet holy...I can rattle off a lot worse than that!

(note: I've also known parents who forbid the phrase "shut up" -- I wish I had a dime for every time I was told to shut up as a kid.)

So I went years thinking that they were just REAlly, REAlly PC. Then I heard a talk radio show host -- we're talking a major syndicated host -- talking about how his kids are not allowed to talk like that (referring to the dreadful "S" word -- stupid). A caller or two phoned in to say they, too, have taught their children not to say that perfectly awful word, but some kids just don't have that kind of upbringing. Good grief -- there's a whole anti-stupid movement and I've totally missed it.

I think my parents did a pretty good job with me, even though they permitted me to spout off insensitive words like stupid. (My language went even further to heck/hell when I started playing sports and hanging with the likes of the Brooklyn Hillbilly.)

Some things and people are, frankly, stupid. Oh, sure, as a child I was told not to call other people stupid (that doesn't mean I didn't THINK it). I suppose it is more creative to come up with a better descriptor, but sometimes you lack creativity and need to grab a word and stupid just seems to fit the bill. Yes, I do think there are stupid people. Plenty of them -- most of them wind up in line in front of me at the Kroger pharmacy, but that's another story. Is it any less insulting if I say they are "mentally deficient" or are "intellectually impaired" or, perhaps, "DON'T HAVE THE SENSE GOD GAVE A GOOSE"! (the latter phrase is one I actually DID hear during childhood)

In my opinion, it doesn't make any difference what words are used if the intent is the same. Exclaiming "Oh fudge" means the same as "Oh f--k" -- come on, it does. It sounds better to say fudge -- I'll grant you that.

There's a glow on the horizon
I had to scream out "Yes, God yes!" today during TalkLine when Hoppy asked the house speaker, "Are we fiddling while Rome burns?" He was referring specifically to the ATV legislation and the amount of time being devoted to this issue (if I remember correctly).

Of casinos and lottery winners
The Brooklyn Hillbilly writes that the New York papers have quit running the Mr. Powerball updates -- "I'm guessing because people would think they're accidentally running the same story."

The BH vows that, if he ever wins the lottery, he will announce at his first press conference "that I plan to spend the next few months in the skankiest strip clubs in the south."

When they call me for comment, I will say, "No, really, he means that. MONTHS!"

I was telling the BH that the best casino substitution I've seen so far is this sign -- "?No-Name" -- pasted over part of a larger sign above an establishment in Wood County. "Cafe" seems to be one of the most popular. I guess since there aren't many true cafes in WV, it's safe to call your casino that.

The BH suggests the following as a possible name: Brendas Apple's and Orange's Vegatable Shoppe and Casino. Grrrrrr...the apostrophes make me cringe.

Winter shall continue
French Creek Freddie saw his shadow. Evil prognosticating rodent.